Saturday, May 29, 2010

Reconstruction...not so fun

It has been about a week and a half since I went into surgery to start reconstruction. I did a right mastectomy and then the plastic surgeon came in, took tissue from my latissumus dorsi region, shoved around my ribs (under the skin) to the front where he stitched it to the areas where the mastectomy took the skin. He then put in some tissue expanders, filled them up abit, gave me 6 drains and plenty of pain pills. 5 hours later, he sent me on my way. I actually stayed in the hospital for 4 days (it was supposed to be an overnight thing only).

Let me tell you, this was the worst surgery I have ever been through. The pain is intense and as long as I am conscious, pain pills don't work so well. I spent an extra 3 days in the hospital due to tachycardia...which developed due to the pain and a pnuemothorax. I missed Ethan's graduation, his last Tball game of the season, tball party and Sydney's softball closing ceremonies. All in all it sucked.

When I made it to my room on Wednesday night, I kept telling the nurse I wanted to go home Thursday night because I had to be at E's kindergarten graduation. He kept telling me I was a Hallmark Card commercial...everyone on the floor knew my story and thought so.

Since I have been home, I am constantly in pain still (although I am trying to slow down on the pain pills now). I am asleep most of the day. It is starting to weigh on me. I'd rather have my independence again. I want to roll onto my side and sleep rather than propping 10 pillows around me and sleeping sitting up. I am ready to ride my bike again and I am ready to crush my children when I hug them. I only hope that this pain and discomfort improves soon or I fear I may spiral into a horrible depression. One that I am not sure I could come out of:(